Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Lack of sleep

It's amazing what lack of sleep can do to you. After a week of profound joy and internal peace in the midst of human despair, I finally had my moment of weakness. That was yesterday, and I just couldn't understand why my heart kept hardening at the weirdest of things, why things didn't want to look bright anymore and why I kept having so stubbornly negative thoughts all the time, despite my own efforts. Where had the heavenly song gone? No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't keep above water surface. Everything inside me just felt wrong, even though my mind was telling me so clearly that nothing had actually changed. No reason to lose faith, but still, I kept sinking.

It wasn't until this morning when I woke up after eight hours of sleep which felt like the biggest teaser of them all, that I realized how tired I actually am. I haven't slept for ages. The nights have been too short and there has been no time to recuperate. No wonder my psyche is bearing the burden. That's what happens to us when we neglect the most basics of need.

So tonight, I will not philosophize. I will turn off my mobile phone (so I can't be reached), "crawl into bed" as we actually say in Swedish (!) and enjoy sleep to its very fullest. And as soon as my tired body stops claiming my soul, I will let you know what's going on both in my mind and in my heart.

Take care!

13 comments:

SRR said...

Sleep well.

I'd like to know where the cool bird art came from.

childwoman said...

I am not sure about the physical chemistry, never had that. But the emotional chemistry is very strong between us. I now know, what it means to love wholly, without any boundaries. I am hurt, but I don't regret it. I am trying to be content that love grew in my heart...

childwoman said...

I have days like that often. Just hang in there Isthar, it will better soon..Hugs

Izz said...

Star, I'm glad, better than the many, you listened to your heart's call. That you must let the temple that houses your heart must be replenished in much needed slumber. Many fail to realise that or heed the call as they are busy living life and busy about being busy.

I'm sure once replenished, you'll come back feeling wholly than in pieces of battles scattered inside you.

Keep well.

Ugo Daniels said...

Sleep well dear and come back renewed, afresh and BANNNNNNNGING HAWT!

All the best :)

Nettus said...

Hi there!
I hope that you will get a couple of good night sleeps, because that is what I think you need now. One good night sleep will maybe help you back on track but a couple of them will hopefully make the heavenly song come back to your heart.
Sleep tight!

Ahoy! said...

Hej Ishtar! Just wanted you to know that I've been visiting your blog often for your updates... I sympathize with you and I feel strongly about your own hopes and fears about a loved one who is ill.

I see your smiling pictures on the sidebar after reading your sad post and I think, well, life is good after all, despite what we may sometimes think.

Godnatt, sov gott!

karin andersson said...

Ja, sömn kan verkligen göra underverk! En mycket bra uppfinning, det där. Ta hand om dig, min vän!

Kramar i massor från den annars inte så kramtokiga Karin ;)

Love!!!

princess said...

Always remember to put urself first sometimes!
Rest well, U've earned it.

princess said...

Always remember to put urself first sometimes!
Rest well, U've earned it.

pamelastitch said...

HELLO,
SLEEP WELL O!! OOPS!!

ANYWAYS, ISHTAR:

I JUST WANTED YOU TO KNOW OF A COMPETITION THAT IS TAKING PLACE AT THE LOFT

WWW.AFRICANLOFT.COM
PARTICIPATE AND PASS THE WORD ALONG.

YOU JUST HAVE TO LOVE AFRICA..

:)

Ishtar aka Sleeping Beauty said...

Wow guys! Thanks for all the nice things you've written! I owe you some feedback, but unfortunately, the net in my appartment is out - and has been out for two day. Rare Nigerien happening, but somehow I enjoy it!

@SR: The bird art is a picture Nettus took of a red bird in the garden (in Niger). I just did a little make-over in photoshop and highlighted the colours (saturation). Photoshop rocks!

photogchic said...

Rest up girl. Stay in bed all day and read a good book or watch a good movie. You ever seen "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind?" One of my favorites about love. Sweet Dreams.